Thursday, October 07, 2004

Overview: Common Symbols in Water Color & Pencil (WCP)

Much of my work contains recurring symbols. The origins and meanings of the symbols are described below, rather than repeated in each presentaion. The information presented here is gathered from personal experience, coursework and studies and is additionally quoted from various sources within my bibliography.

Wings/Butterflies:
Throughout my life I have always felt an affinity with butterflies, their gentle floating and amazing coloring, the transformation from caterpillar, the rich variety of symbolism, metaphor and mythology, continue to fascinate and inspire me.

“The butterfly is one of the oldest images of transformation. No one who, as a child, has waited for a caterpillar to turn into a butterfly can forget the moment when the earth bound caterpillar becomes the beautiful winged creature that flies away. Some 8000 years ago, the caterpillar and the butterfly suggested that there were two aspects to a single life form: one was ‘born’ out of the other. Thus it became one of the oldest images to suggest the regeneration of life from an outworn form and, analogously, the survival of the soul after the death of the body.”
(The Goddesses and Gods of Old Europe – Marija Gimbutas – page 186)

“Psyche was the Greek word for both soul and butterfly, dating from the belief that human souls became butterflies while searching for a new reincarnation. The mythical romance of the maiden Psyche, beloved by the god Eros, was really an allegory of the soul’s union with the body and of their subsequent separation. The Celts also believed in fly-souls and butterfly-souls which, like bird-souls, flew about seeking a new mother. It was thought that women became pregnant by swallowing such creatures. In Irish myth, Etain took the form of a butterfly for seven years, then entered the drinking cup of Etar (Etarre), who swallowed her, and so brought her to rebirth. In her second incarnation, Etain married Eochy, the High King of Ireland. It is still said in Cornwall that the spirits of the dead take the form of white butterflies. It is also said in Mexico and Siberia. Butterflies were soul symbols in the Far East as well as Western Europe. The Chinese considered a jade butterfly the essential emblem of love, suggesting a wedding of souls. The most appropriate gift for a bridegroom to give his bride in China was a jade butterfly.”
(The Woman’s Dictionary of Symbols and Sacred Objects – Barbara G. Walker – page 415)

“…Early Greeks believed human souls could occupy flying insects while passing from one life to the next. The belief was not forgotten. At Carcassonne in 1329, an amorous Carmelite monk was accused of witchcraft for hiding love charms in women’s houses. It was charged that he also called up Satan and sacrificed a butterfly to him, in symbolic offering of the soul.”
(The Woman’s Dictionary of Myths and Secrets – Barbara G. Walker – page 826)

The butterfly continues to be a metaphor for transformation, reincarnation and romance, globally in modern culture references:

“Butterfly – Rebirth in higher form; transmutation of energy. The beauty that comes from trusting the process of growth through all its ups and downs, emerging triumphant in new awareness.”
(The Dream Book – Betty Bethards – page 79)
“Social success, romantic success, and/or domestic happiness is forecast by a dream of these gaily colored creatures.” (The Dreamers Dictionary - Lady Stearn Robinson & Tom Corbett – page 72)

“Butterfly – The soul; immortality. As changing from the mundane caterpillar, through the state of dissolution, to the celestial winged creature, it is rebirth, resurrection. Also, like the double headed axe, a symbol of the Great Goddess. Celtic: The soul; fire. Chinese: Immortality; abundant leisure; joy. The butterfly with the chrysanthemum portrays beauty in old age; with the plum, it is longevity. Christian: Resurrection; its stages of development are life, death and resurrection. Sometimes shown in the hand of the Christ Child. Greek: Immortality; the soul; the psyche; also Psyche in Greek art. Japanese: A vain woman; a geisha; a fickle lover. A pair of butterflies is conjugal happiness; a white butterfly is a spirit of the dead. Maori: The soul.”
(An Illustrated Encyclopedia of Traditional Symbols – J.C. Cooper – page 27-28)

These modern associations get their foundations in the above referenced cultures and eras, however, less known in mainstream society is that throughout history, in ancient cultures, the butterfly can now be recognized as being associated with the Great Goddess and the cultures that worshipped her, as is evident through the arts and crafts uncovered:

“On a Late Minoan vase from Mochlos, the Deity as half-woman/half-butterfly is depicted with a stemlike columnar body, upraised arms, and butterfly wings…on a Late Minoan pithos from Pseira, the central butterfly has widespread wings sectioned by bands of parallel lines…floral motifs and bull heads with butterflies like flowers between the horns…the symbolic context is further enhanced by bands of butterflies, circles, spirals, concentric circles, and double spiral flowers…”
(The Language of the Goddess – Marija Gimbutas – pages: 23)

“Scenes of regeneration and hymns to rising life are portrayed on Late Minoan sarcophagi…features panels of sacred horns with rising butterflies, shells, and buds…it is a declaration of the triumph of life, in which plants, animals, and sea life participate.”

“The butterfly was one of the many insectomorphic manifestations of the Goddess in whose hands was the magical transformation from death to life.”
(The Language of the Goddess – Marija Gimbutas – pages: 23)

“The emblem of the Great Goddess in its origin has nothing to do with the axe; it antedates the appearance of metal axes by several thousand years. In the second millenium BC, because of their increasing importance axes were made in imitation of a butterfly (therefore double bladed). When finally the butterfly became the double-axe, the image of the goddess as a butterfly continued to be engraved on double-axes. Moreover, on painted Minoan vases there is frequently an anthropomorphic image of the goddess having wings in the shape of a double-axe, an echo of the goddess’ epiphany in the shape of a butterfly.”
(The Goddesses and Gods of Old Europe – Marija Gimbutas – page 187)


Spirals:
Spirals have been found on every continent in ancient sites. We have recently discovered that our universe is formed in a spiral, our DNA in spiral strands, indeed it is likely our bodies form in a spiral from the imbilical cord. It would seem that instictivly we feel and want to illustrate a connection with this.

"A highly complex symbol which has been used since paleolithic times and appears in pre-dynastic Egypt, Crete, Mycenae, Mesopotamia, India, China, Japan, pre-Columbian America, Europe, Scandinavia, and Britain; it also appears in Oceana, but not in Hawaii. It variously represents both solar and lunar powers,; the air; the waters; rolling thunder and lightening; it is also a vortex; the great creative force; emanation...a manifestation of energy in nature."
(An Illustrated Encyclopedia of Tradtional Symbols, page 156)

Additionally it is believed that the spiral symbol inspired the creation of labyrinths.

Nature:
Nature is the inspiriation of our culture, our ancient ancestors viewed the cycle of nature, earth, the seasons, the moon, stars, and sun and learned to survive and create a foundation based on these observations. Today, many of our cultures are removed from nature and only glimpse its beauty and sacredness occassionally. Throughout time, people have been called to reproduce what they see and to try to understand their place on the world by relating to the environment around them.

Sun, Moon and Stars are common natural symbols in my work. The sun has many metaphors attached to it, but is most often referred to as a metaphor for the masculine and the moon as feminine.




WCP - Tree


Watercolor, Apprx size: 8.5 x 11 - Prints for sale $15.00 each

Artists Notes:
I would love to be sitting in this tree, feeling the warmth of the sun and the slight chill of the breeze on my face and watching the butterflies soaring beneath me. I find that I sketch trees often, and examine them frequently when out in nature. I love them, they are often majestic, strong and beautiful. This is not based on an actual tree, just my imagination of a tree in the sun, on a breezy day.


WCP - Two Sides


Watercolor - Approximately 8.5x11 - Prints for Sale $15.00 each


Artists Notes:
In truth, there are many sides to me, but in this painting I represent the ancient and the feminine. One side is a curvy young woman with long flowing hair, natural, sexy, beautiful. The other, the wise serious woman with wild ethereal hair, magical, spiritual and sacred. Nested inside watery wings, it had an Atlantean feeling to me. Maiden and Crone, Peasant and Priestess, Physical and Spiritual.

WCP - Conception


Watercolor - Approximately 8.5x11 - Prints for sale $15.00 each


Artists Notes:
I awoke one morning and truly felt reborn. Overnight, I had experienced a transformation. I painted this in only a few moments, sketching first in watercolor pencil and then painting in watercolor. Watercolor as the medium felt wholly appropriate as the painting feels very womb-like to me, and also representative in color and form of the sea. The moon, an egg, or bubble floating gently within something larger and more powerful, yet still protected. The joining and spiraling inside, representing the coming together of self, the birth of an idea, the beginning of new life.

WCP - Wings


Watercolor - Approximately 8.5x11 - prints for sale $15.00 each


Artists Notes:
I believe that most little girls (and probably boys too) dream of having their own wings. I often imagined that mine were deeply colorful, sheer, shiny and very beautiful. The soul seems restricted in this physical form and weighed down, wings remind me to lighten up, to think of angels and faeries. One of my favorite mediations involves imaging yourself to be flying over a beautiful hillside and I like to imagine that these wings carry me. See Butterfly notes above in Common Symbols post.

WCP - Spiral Sunset


Watercolor - Approximately 8.5x11 - prints for sale $15.00 each

Artists Notes:
Watercolor is great for sunsets! You can melt all of the colors just like the sky. It doesn't matter if you are a terrific painter or a beginner, paint because its fun, paint because its good for your soul! I like the spiral sun here, it lends itself to the idea of the sun disappearing at sunset, and blending into all the colors of the sky. See the Spiral notes in the Common Symbols post above.


Wednesday, October 06, 2004

SDCP - Lavender


Lavender, Watercolor pencils, appx 8.5 x 6 - Prints For Sale - $15.00 each

Artists Notes:
I use a lot of essential oils and lavender is my favorite. I like to always have at least one live lavendar plant in my garden, this sketch is from one of my garden plants. Lavender is a great plant to grow, easy to maintain, it needs little to thrive, it smells heavenly, and it has many remedial properties. This is actually the first spring plant I purchased and planted when I moved to the Central Coast last year, and I wanted to capture its simple beautiful essence.

Tuesday, October 05, 2004

WCP - Sacred Circle


Pencil, appx 6x4 - prints for sale - $15.00 each

Artists Notes:
Group Prayer is practiced in many cultures and religious groups. Bringing people together in prayer, seems to give the prayer more power. It is believed that in ancient and especially matrifocal cultures, the woman came together in circle to pray for thier people. I sketched this while in a class, as we were discussing group prayer. It makes me think of sisters coming together for a common cause in community. Circle has been a metaphor for eternity and unity throughout time. Many various rituals are practiced in different cultures when coming together in circle, for example in Celtic and Native American traditions the Four Directions (N.E.S.W. and their elemental associations - Air, Fire, Water & Earth) are called upon to protect and bless the gathering.

Sunday, October 03, 2004

Overview: Inspiration for Poetry Prose & Creative Writing (PPCW)

My mother stayed home with me until I was 5, and taught me to write my name by 3. I don't know when I really began writing regularly, but I do recall an incident in 1st grade where the teacher told me that because I had chosen the same subject matter as my last story, it wasn't very creative. I didn't stop writing, but I immediately became terrified to share it with others. It is still a big challenge for me to put myself out there in the form of my chosen mediums, especially the written word, it is the most personal and thus the most dear.

I wrote poetry, prose, stories, song lyrics, journal entries, ad nauseum throughout my life. Mostly to keep myself sane. For the past 6 years, I have written very little until quite recently, and now I can hardly stop! The written work presented here is from 6 - 8 years ago, and it is sometimes painful to read my own thoughts from what feels like a long time ago now that time has placed distance between both the events and the emotions. That can be true of painting, drawing, sculpture and other artistic expressions also, but is often unmistakable in written work.

The written, the urge to somehow record and therefore also process that which we experience. We know from discoveries of the ancient that recording in written or symbolic form has been practiced by humans throughout time. Discoveries of the writings of Enheduanna, the Sumerian poet and High Priestess illustrate that we have used the written word throughout our existance.
Cave paintings, Egyptian art and writing, Minoan art and writing all illustrate the ancient desire to mark down the world around us.




Reference: Phaestos Disc, Minoan Crete Tablet - Image located on WWW

PPCW - Common as the Common Woman

Within, around and throughout

pieces of myself, my story.

I have worked for Helen

And it could be said about me:

“Her grief expresses itself in fits of fury over details.”

Only we call it the “bitchy button.”

Like Ella, I have learned

unconsciously to “fend off the pass

that passes for affection.”

I’ve been the Nadine of my family, “holding things together.”

And in Carol, I am reminded

that living any lie is torture and telling the truth terrifying.

As a single woman, there is for me a sad truth in:

“She goes as far as a woman can go without protection from men.”

I am the reddest wine

Liquid flesh

One who, like Annie

Stays in motion.

Margaret is the me I am fighting

The woman counting calories,

wishing for and hating the pictures on the pages.

Mourning the abortion of my dreams of children with him.

Feeling blue about the edges.

Looking to the moon

I worry my life is broken bubbles

Seen flashing frozen in a slow strobe.

And Vera is a very special gift for me

The words I want to express almost elusive.

The complicated relationship I have to and with the

“bastard boss ‘I’…never let myself hate”

The work I do without pay.

Born with a mark in the middle of my forehead, my third eye

A spirit message meant for me this morning?

“For all the world we didn’t know we held in common.”


(Items in quotations are direct quotes from and the poem itself is inspired by the Common Woman Poems – Judy Grahn)

Inspiration & Artists Notes:

Upon much thought and reflection, I concluded that for me, the theme I most recognized throughout the work examined, is Identity. Judy Grahn's work: She Who, The Common Woman Poems, Queen of Wands, Queen of Swords, all have many layers, but identity is a strong common theme. Who the characters are: to themselves, in relation to or in the perceived opinion of society, to the author, to the reader, to the other characters, and how for some there are different roles for different places, are the essence of these writings. I found myself identifying with many aspects.

The Common Woman Poems had the most profound impact on me. I could relate to some part of each piece and suspect that most women could. Throughout my quest to survive a devastating loss, I began to define my own identity consciously, over the past few years. Perhaps that is why, the theme of identity was so apparent to me.

PPCW - Magic: Belief before “sight”

Fairies…Always dancing

at the edge of my sight

in the misty spotlight

of the sunbeams

Elves…Little men in funny shoes

and green getups,

bearing gifts

or perhaps mischief

Angels…winged, radiant, semi-translucent

guardians

and messengers sent

Witches… wise women who know

of herbs, nature, ritual,

belief, intention, magic,

and show.

Colorful characters

Mystical, spiritual, sacred

Universally found same or similar somethings

Simply says one thing

Artists Notes:
I have always been fascinated with the mystical and with the idea of faith and thought creating our experiences in life. It is interesting to realize that common ideas about magic and magical creatures have so many similarities across cutures and throughout time. We rely on our senses so heavily for information about truth and facts, but spirituality forces us to rely only on faith. Occasionally when our senses play tricks on us, we can imagine a myriad of mythical explanations. This poem attempts to capture those imaginings.

PPCW - She Who Shines in the Sun & Glows in the Moon

SHE

She WHO?

She

She who is me

SHE

She whose green eyes blaze from within

She Who sees indigo visions

She whose symbol is sacred: spiral, sun, moon phases, directions

She Who dances in passionate rhythms as though the spirits caress her every movement

She Who sings from her soul

She Who has been loved, has given love, has lost love and kept love, missed love, kept love away, loved deeply, she who is love

She Who speaks

She Who has, keeps and tells great stories

She Who creates

She who seeks wisdom

She Who observes, records, remembers, relates

She whose high tides often bring big floods

She who expresses and emotes

She who

She Who is Capricorn Sun, Pisces Moon, Virgo Rising

She WHO?

She Who is and brings light

Who am I?

Whom do I choose to be?

Whom would I choose to be if I considered it my choice?

She Who What?

I am creating she who I would choose to be

She who learns

She who radiates peace, light, and joy

She who lives fully and well

She who has desirable voices and places for them to be heard.

She who gives because she can

She who is blessed with meaningful kinship’s

She who gives and receives love

She who gives and receives wise council

She whose smile brightens a room and touches a heart

She whose eyes see soul to soul

She who is blessed with abundance

She who contributes

She who listens and hears

She who heals and is healed

She who is courageous

She who has fun and is fun

She whose mind, body, & soul are in harmony

She who creates

She who is connected

She who is magical

She who is sacred and divine

She who is me


(Inspired by the She Who poems - Judy Grahn)

Inspiration & Artists Notes:

Upon much thought and reflection, I concluded that for me, the theme I most recognized throughout the work examined, is Identity. Judy Grahn's work: She Who, The Common Woman Poems, Queen of Wands, Queen of Swords, all have many layers, but identity is a strong common theme. Who the characters are: to themselves, in relation to or in the perceived opinion of society, to the author, to the reader, to the other characters, and how for some there are different roles for different places, are the essence of these writings. I found myself identifying with many aspects.

The Common Woman Poems had the most profound impact on me. I could relate to some part of each piece and suspect that most women could. Throughout my quest to survive a devastating loss, I began to define my own identity consciously, over the past few years. Perhaps that is why, the theme of identity was so apparent to me.

PPCW - Bare Feet Walking

Bare Feet Walking
Skin and Earth
meet, bond and mingle
then seperate, to reconnect again

It is as though I am
splintering apart from the inside out
shedding the outer
the inner breathing in, rising up, expanding



Artists Notes:
I read once that one practice of meditation is to walk and focus soley on the act of walking, to really think about what each step feels like. My mind is always so busy that I have never been very successful at practicing this meditation for very long.

PPCW - "Observations of Seeing"

I trace it with my eyes
the aqua color changes
sometimes a deep green-blue
others almost translucent

soft threads of blond and brown
frame the smooth broad forehead
the wrinkles begin underneath the eyes
and spread out past the corners
just touching the long dark lashes
and lead down past the smile
up around soft pink lips

the skin looks smooth and soft
and my heart expands so
that I cannot breathe

sleeping that face is so young and peaceful
the lashes rest lightly above tanned cheeks
and the eyes move rapidly underneath as the dreams
run themselves through the mind and
your lips move slightly as though trying to speak what is seen

the ears, my favorite part
cold always, slightly red at the tips
and white at the curve

hundreds, maybe thousands of tiny blond hairs line
those cute little ears and
underneath the jaw, and at the hairline

red sleepy eyes make the blue brighter
the hair stands straight up in places
and too flat in others
the face stretches and grimaces with the body
while the eyes radiate love, strength and wisdom,
as they blink in light, colors & shapes

dark course hairs trying to grow into a beards
at the chin and what would be sideburns
so dark in contrast to the soft yellow gold just above

when confused or concentrating
the chin comes forward
and the bottom lip hides the top
sometimes the eyes close
or work with the wrinkles to form questions

and finally when playing guitar
serene and peaceful
the eyes flutter between shut and open
the head moves with the strokes
of the hand and the rhythm of the strings

the whole body dances to make the instrument sing
the face becomes more and more confident
as the song moves on
and then breaks out into a happy smile
at its end

Inspiration & Artists Notes:
This was written for the class "Art As A Sacred Process" and the assignment was "observations of seeing". The idea was to really look at something and to write about seeing it. I chose a person and was inspired to write it in prose. It is truly amazing how much love you allow yourself to feel when you open your senses to really experience something. I highly recommend choosing an object of nature or a person and letting yourself really look. Then sit quietly later and recall it by writing it down.

Friday, October 01, 2004

PPCW - From the broken to the breaker (a series)

I
When:
you reach out to me; I desperately want to reach back
Oh, but I have seen that action eliminate any chance of reconciliation
Reached
only to realize I have clasped hands with the cruel and ugly stranger you have become

Sometimes:
I fear that if I am not aloof, you will not try
I fear that I do want you back
I fear I don’t want you back
I fear that it is impossible to be together again
I fear there will be no one else
I fear there will be someone else
Both of those...for both of us.
I fear you are never going to be who you were and that I don’t like who you may be
I fear I will never get over you
I fear I am already over you
I FEAR YOU ARE ALREADY OVER ME

Often:
I fear a lifetime of loving you, without you, ever again, loving me in return
I fear that I may appear, terrible, small, sad, and pathetic to others, to you, to myself
I decide I will hold my own hands, not reaching or grasping
eliminating the need to let go…

Again…
Still…
This time

II

You’re there
I don’t know how or why
Rage against my traitorous heart
How could it still love you?

Kokopeli plays in my spotlight
I saw the Dorsa’s
Rita & Barney got married
I can’t sleep before 2am

The more joy
The more pain
This steep part of the journey
Leads to things I cannot yet see

Words haunt me:
Husband
Why
Alone
I can only speculate

It’s a devastating game…wondering
Only more questions
More tears
More fears
Wasted days turned into years

Why did my love disappear?

III.

Can you hear me? Its 5:30am your time.
Wake up because I’m talking to you!
I hate your fucking guts sometimes
I think you weak, irresponsible and ignorant
I hate that you left it all behind

Here in my space…to see, feel, touch and remember.

I hate you for putting my loving words to music
Words which were a gift from my soul
That you spit back at me

I hate myself for still loving you
For hoping, you’ll come back
And I’ll get that fantasy fairy tale we dreamed of

I hate God for putting us through this
I hate your mother for not intervening
I hate that which changed you so drastically
I hate myself for something you cannot name
And I cannot absorb as solely yours

I hate everyone who has found love and happiness with a partner
I hate people who are having babies or already have families
I hate airports, planes, pilots and flight attendants
I hate everyone you smile at
Everyone who looks into your eyes
Everyone you are kind to
Everyone who gets to share any part of your life

I hate that you feel like my husband

I hate the parts of you I could not stand when I was last with you
I hate how much the thought of that email is making me anxious

I hate you because I miss you
I hate you because I am alone and cannot seem to be with anyone else

I HATE YOU FOR LEAVING ME

I hate you for making me feel broken, small, stupid, insecure and afraid.
I hate you for not coming back to me crawling on your knees

I gave you my heart, mind, body and soul

IT’S DONE

There is no taking that back

I cannot simply stop feeling...

I hate you
I hate you
I hate you

IV.

Though it apparently never entirely goes away
It visits much less frequently

You are someone else's husband now
and I am still no one's wife

Some days that isn't anything close to a bad thing
Others, amazingly painful

I am big enough to wish you the best
I know everything happens as it should

You visited me in a dream not long ago
I asked you what you were doing there
You looked so surprised by the question
I actually laughed

When I woke up
It seemed you finally let me go
after all of these years
and your new vows

I still miss you sometimes
I will love you always

Goodbye.



Artists Notes:
So...breakups suck, they just do. However, they also offer an opprtunity to look within, to pause and re-group, to ask the deep questions and to re-define everything. This series was written around 1996, over a period of time, while I was going through different stages of the grieving process. I included these because some of the most sacred creations are those made in pain and our feelings and creation are two of the ways we can commune and tap into the divine. Creating something while grieving is so powerful, it is unbelievably cathartic to write or paint, to create anything really, and get all those feelings out into something, anything. Creating things while feeling anything strongly most often produces meaningful results, and sacred artwork is creation with meaning. My poetry, prose and creative writing are sacred to me, because they are my words, thoughts and feelings, naked, out there, crafted with all that I am, in that moment.


PPCW - Sitting on the shore

To hear the children laugh
To hear the seagulls cry
To watch the tide crash in
And hear its softest sigh

To watch the white foam thicken
And then to fade away
To see it erode the mightiest rocks
Day after day, after day



To see the sun rise
To see the fog roll in
To see the sun set
And see it rise again

To hear the ocean breathing
To see the Pelicans soar and fall
This is what life's all about
The wonder of it all.

Artists Notes:
I find the beach to be the most spiritual place on earth. It brings me the deepest peace just to be near it and I try to be as often as possible. Standing at the waters edge, watching the waves, I can see the divine in everything, can at once feel both connecred to everything, and then also so small in the large scheme of life. To me, this poem captures my experience and thoughts of being on the shore. I often recite this poem in my head when I go for my weekly beach walk.

PPCW - SLO Life

The mountains lie like long dead dinasours
Lollygaging through the pine trees and blades of grass
Pushing away the shafts of light
Singing through the misty clouds

Guardian Angels dance in the flecks of my eyes
Spinning crystals and diamonds
Which now reside in my heart
Reminders of an emotion I am no longer capable of

I fly into the mouth of the river
Ignoring islands and pillows
Speaking, tongue silent
My tools, the letters of words

Soaring above the landscape
Attempting to name the beauty
Watching, listening, feeling
Connected, a part of all that is.

Artists Notes:
I am blessed to live in a magical place, that is beautiful and mysterious. It constantly inspires me to create in an attempt to articulate all that I see. It connects me to the spiritual and the divine in a tangible and consistant way. This poem captures a moment of a particular day but also captures what is here everyday, that which assists in grounding me and bringing me serenity.